Random

phone 031a

Eleven years ago today, on a muggy Wednesday morning - much like this one I'm writing on - I was diagnosed with leukaemia. I was 31. I was on my honeymoon. It was a lightning bolt out of the crazy blue. It was my thief in the night. For the first few hours after hearing the news, I started blaming myself. I tried to find answers. Was it Continue Reading

One

Cutting cake a

We're one but we're not the same. We get to carry each other carry each other. ~ U2 It was our wedding anniversary yesterday. Eleven years. We've done so much in that time. We've lived through leukaemia. We've bought a home. We've had two children. We've lived through more illness. We've renovated. We've travelled. We've danced. Continue Reading

Strong

Deb 025 11

The rain started at 4am. A tender thread of water only lasting a few minutes, but it’s tiny patter on the roof was enough to comfort my heart. It woke me from my heavy-eyed thoughts, a clanky reel replaying the last few days. Days filled with fevers, rigors and a throat that burnt like the sun. Days where time was a jellylike substance. Saturday Continue Reading

Ten Years

wedding day deb

Ten years ago a bride woke up on her wedding day with a bruise the size of a grapefruit on her fore-arm. It was green and unsightly, but the long Juliet-sleeves of her wedding dress covered it up nicely. She thought the bruise was odd, but she soon forgot about it because she was about to step into the happiest day of her life. And it was. It was Continue Reading

Home

674 blog

I moved to Melbourne 11 years ago. In that time I have gotten married, survived leukaemia, given birth to 2 children, and tried most resolutely to make a home for myself. It looks nice. The people are nice. There's some good things about it. It looks deceptively like home. But after all these years, it's still doesn't feel like home. Before this Continue Reading

The Life of Pi

Life of pie 2

It's still with me. I watched the Life of Pi two days ago and I can't stop thinking about it. By night it flashes through the filmy velvet of my dreams. By day my head is a rapturous kaleidoscope of luminous fish and sweet Indian music. And my heart is still breaking for the tears of Pi. I read the book five years ago. Yann Martel not only Continue Reading

Just Another Date

Blog Remission

December 10, 2003. There are details about that day that I can never forget. Like the way I sat in the haematologist’s office staring at the stupid little animal ornaments on his desk. Like the crooked angle of his polka-dot bow tie. Like the way he waffled on about diseases and then BAM!  The words kicked me in the guts and set my body shaking. Continue Reading

Grace

blog shells2

She carries a pearl In perfect condition What once was hurt What once was friction What left a mark No longer stings Because grace makes beauty Out of ugly things                                    - Grace, U2 I sway between hope and despair hourly. I wish I was a consistent person. I wish I was positive ALL THE TIME. But I feel Continue Reading

The Restart

blog_2663

It seems that all my bridges have been burned But, you say that's exactly how this grace thing works It's not the long walk home that will change this heart But the welcome I receive with the restart       ~ Roll Away Your Stone, Mumford & Sons   For every day you stay away from writing, the harder it is to get back into it. Continue Reading

Dominos

Blogboost_1817

I wanted to scrawl these words on the toilet door of the shiny new building. To christen it. To bring a scrap of reality. But I’ve never been cool enough to graffiti. Or witty enough. And out of respect for Olivia Newton-John, I didn’t. It was her building. And I was grateful to her for donating it to the hospital. I also wanted to scrawl them Continue Reading