I Won’t Forget September is Your Birthday

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My grandma was like a warm spring breeze. So refreshing and always ready to caress you. She would greet you at her front door with a trademark ‘Hull-ooooh!’,  followed by a squeeze so tight you almost felt your lungs would never recover. I adored being swept up in that exuberant love. The day my grandma died I said, “This morning the world seems Continue Reading

Softly

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Where are you now, Grandma? I see you softly drifting on the brink, curling into the filmy line between this world and the next. Today I said good-bye to you for the last time. Inadequate and impossible.  How does anyone express the enormity of a lifetime of love? The vastness of gratitude? All whittled down to tender whispers and gentle Continue Reading

Just Another Date

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December 10, 2003. There are details about that day that I can never forget. Like the way I sat in the haematologist’s office staring at the stupid little animal ornaments on his desk. Like the crooked angle of his polka-dot bow tie. Like the way he waffled on about diseases and then BAM!  The words kicked me in the guts and set my body shaking. Continue Reading

Grace

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She carries a pearl In perfect condition What once was hurt What once was friction What left a mark No longer stings Because grace makes beauty Out of ugly things                                    - Grace, U2 I sway between hope and despair hourly. I wish I was a consistent person. I wish I was positive ALL THE TIME. But I feel Continue Reading

The Great Leap Forward

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"Start your own revolution and cut out the middleman"                                                              ~ Billy Bragg, The Great Leap Forward :::::: You can have your own personal revolution any time you want. It doesn't have to be dramatic. Sometimes it can start with a murmur at the dawn of day. This week I started walking. For Continue Reading

Permission to be Real

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So here’s what I do. I explore the undercurrents. I’m a sonar in the depths. Picking up on the signals that no-one wants to hear or talk about. The despair, the pain, the misery, the gloom. Because that sort of talk is socially unacceptable. Because there’s a social pressure to avoid the undertow. Just look on the bright side!  And whatever you Continue Reading

Out There

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I want to capture colour and light. I want to punctuate the details. I want to write and write and write. But I can't. Not because I don’t want to. Not because there are no ideas. But because there’s this thing happening that short circuits every attempt to be creative. It's an unbloggable thing unfolding in the life of my family. Where I am Continue Reading

Late Night

Listening to the song. Again and again. The spell it has on me. Rain in the moonlight. Steady drumming of my heart. Unbroken humming. Sweet breaths of sleep creep under the door. Alone at last. Curling into the sacred corner of the night. To be awake. To be still. To be free. To rise and soar. And remember no more. Hold me in Continue Reading

Hero Girl

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We curled in a ball. Like we do every night. Unravelling her day. Her favourite thing was the library. Nothing beats the library. Except the cinnamon donut she got on the way home from the library. Just as I turned out the light she said what she says every night. Mum, I’m going to dream about Superheros tonight. She can’t decide if she’ll be Continue Reading

Before and After

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That day. That day our world changed. I wish we could have chosen a different adventure. A different ending. But it wasn’t that kind of story. We rushed home from the doctor. Packed my bags for the strangest journey ahead. What do you pack when you don’t know where you’re going? How long? What was this for again? Somewhere down the road a Continue Reading