Random

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Eleven years ago today, on a muggy Wednesday morning - much like this one I'm writing on - I was diagnosed with leukaemia. I was 31. I was on my honeymoon. It was a lightning bolt out of the crazy blue. It was my thief in the night. For the first few hours after hearing the news, I started blaming myself. I tried to find answers. Was it Continue Reading

One

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We're one but we're not the same. We get to carry each other carry each other. ~ U2 It was our wedding anniversary yesterday. Eleven years. We've done so much in that time. We've lived through leukaemia. We've bought a home. We've had two children. We've lived through more illness. We've renovated. We've travelled. We've danced. Continue Reading

Dreaming of Michaelangelo

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Saturn on a line A sun afire on strings and wires To spin above my head and make it right But any time you like You can catch a sight of angel eyes all emptiness and infinite And I dream of Michaelangelo when I’m lying on my bed I see God upon the ceiling I see angels overhead And he seems so close as he reaches out his hand But we Continue Reading

Strong

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The rain started at 4am. A tender thread of water only lasting a few minutes, but it’s tiny patter on the roof was enough to comfort my heart. It woke me from my heavy-eyed thoughts, a clanky reel replaying the last few days. Days filled with fevers, rigors and a throat that burnt like the sun. Days where time was a jellylike substance. Saturday Continue Reading

Hello Brightness

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  Hello brightness. Little fireflies glowing at my window. Gleaming in the tender light of dawn. Hush the cold trees leaping in the wind.   I see you there. Sequin-like in the fog. Digging out of the darkness of my bones. Rising through blood and fear. Gently unpinning head from heart.   Is Continue Reading

To Begin

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Let it all uncoil. One word at a time. To begin again. To begin.  :::::: Here is my view right now. The first moment of stillness in months. Bright new morning. I’m sorry I’ve been away. I feel like I’ve been a sailor on the seas, and this is my first day on dry land. Legs are steady. I’ve had a good night’s sleep. Hello Continue Reading

Home

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I moved to Melbourne 11 years ago. In that time I have gotten married, survived leukaemia, given birth to 2 children, and tried most resolutely to make a home for myself. It looks nice. The people are nice. There's some good things about it. It looks deceptively like home. But after all these years, it's still doesn't feel like home. Before this Continue Reading

In the Dark

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When the music started I sank into my seat in the dark. It only took a second for my heart to unhinge from its axis. From there I was free. There’s something very liberating about going to a concert alone. I saw Luka Bloom play two weeks ago. It’s the treat I give myself every two years when he tours. Twenty years later and I keep going back for Continue Reading

Rescue Mission

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February bulged at the seams. It bulged so much that the writing part of my brain didn’t have room to move. There was the usual busy stuff – like dashing around with my kids, paying bills, and trying to remember the birthdays of 8 important people in my life. (Because clearly they must be born all in the same month for no compelling reason). And Continue Reading

The Penguin That Swam Away

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Do you know this picture? It’s taken by wildlife photographer Amos Nachoum. A leopard seal and a penguin in the Antarctic Sea. I find myself having so many reactions to it. In awe of the power of the leopard seal. In grief for the fate of the penguin. I showed it to my daughter. She’s only four. I explained the photo might be a bit scary. Continue Reading