February bulged at the seams. It bulged so much that the writing part of my brain didn’t have room to move. There was the usual busy stuff – like dashing around with my kids, paying bills, and trying to remember the birthdays of 8 important people in my life. (Because clearly they must be born all in the same month for no compelling reason).
And then there was the SOS. It was my body. Waving flags madly at me. It’s been trying to get my attention for awhile now, but in January it was sending off flares.
So in February I knew it was time. I started a rescue mission. And I went in hard. I saw doctors, specialists, naturopaths, counsellors, and weight loss people. I googled exotic ailments at 2am. I got blood tests and ultrasounds. I joined the gym, drank green smoothies, and swallowed a trillion vitamins. The veins in my leg were mapped. My liver was investigated. And finally my body wrote in the sand: WHAT TOOK YOU SO BLOODY LONG?
But all this rescuing took time. And that was okay. Because nothing could happen until I helped myself. I missed writing – gosh how I missed this creative space. And I missed many other things too. But without a healthy body, what good is anything else? It’s easy to get caught up in what we miss, even if we are being handed a life rope.
And thus some truths remain:
When you don’t write on your blog for 4 weeks, the world keeps spinning.
When you’re not reading other people’s blogs, people will keep writing them.
When you’re not on twitter, the universe will keep talking without your assistance.
Do you know what feels better than ‘not missing out on things’? Not lying awake worrying if I’ve got cancer again. Loving myself enough to rescue myself. And knowing today is better than yesterday, and tomorrow will be even better.
I’ll get back to my writing in good time. The salvage has begun. The mission continues. I will take all the time I need.
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{ 32 comments… read them below or add one }
I’ve just picked up a fairly hefty work contract for the next 6 mths which has impacted my writing and blogging time too. While at first that made me feel antsy, I’m learning to let go. You are right – the world will not stop, but sometimes it’s you that must stop…only momentarily. It’s healthy and it’s balanced. And you know you will be back, which is better than burning out. x
Lisa Lintern recently posted..Exclusive feminism
Hi Lisa! Gosh it’s good to see you here. I know that antsy feeling well. Sometimes we can’t juggle it all. You’re absolutely right, burnout is good for no-one. I hope your busy load in the next few months still gives you moments of freedom to write. I enjoy your writing so much. x
Good on you for looking after yourself! Yes, the world does keep going even when we’re not involved… Sad, but true! xx
Kate – you must know this first hand at the moment. I can’t wait to hear your reflections on ‘life without blogging’ very soon. x
So glad you are looking after yourself hon.Too often we put ourselves last,which is no good for us or our families.
A while back I wasn’t on twitter much as was having terrible neck and arm pain.While it was being investigated I just couldn’t get on my computer as the pain was so bad and I felt so so down.Once I was on the right pain control until I get my surgery,I was back on twitter and reading blogs again and the beautiful online friends I have made were still there full of support and caring.
Take all the time that is needed as we will all be here waiting for your words,thinking of you and wishing you well.Xx
Hi Debbie, I’m so sorry to hear you’ve been experiencing such pain. I hope you feel better and recover well. Of course we’re still here and always will be. You’re a beautiful soul and when you’re not here I miss you! xxx
If you don’t take care of your body, where are you going to live?” xx
Beautiful thought, Chrissie – love it! Thank you. x
The world keeps going if you stop blogging? I don’t believe it. It’s been so long since I’ve taken a break, I don’t even know how I would do it.
I’m glad you’re taking care of yourself. We really really need you.
Casey recently posted..Slowing Down
Hi Casey, thank you! – and I love your blog! Seriously. And as good as it is, I hope you take a break soon. We wouldn’t want you to burn out.
We want you well, much more than we want your kick arse blog posts! Good on you
Yes, yes! Me too! Thanks, Sharon. x
Absofreakinlutely Deb! Our health and wellbeing is of the utmost importance.
I’ll be interested to learn more about your ‘findings’ – what works for you and what is giving you the most.
I’ve been making small tweaks this year to live cleaner and greener. It can be overwhelming – so many natural therapies and things to try. So far, my fave is a green juice a day. Easy, delish and feel good!
kirri recently posted..The fastest way to reclaim your life
Kirri, I’m interested in what’s working for you too. Your tweaks to cleaner living sound good. Yes, it can get overwhelming. I’m in the process of breaking it down, trial and error etc.. I do love a green juice too!
you could not have said it or written it any better. I’m cheering you on in your journey for better health – it really IS a core necessity, isn’t it? I’m still on mine, and it’s been 14 months, yet still one day at a time, as you said… hugs across the miles! xoxo
Thank you for cheering me on Joy! I appreciate it! And of course I’m cheering you on too – I’ve been inspired by your journey thus far. Big hugs for you too! xx
Deb – I saw this a few times yesterday and then had some time to make a cuppa and sit down this morning. I rescue everyone but me so much of the time and then I get cranky for not being rescued.
I found out some bad news about my dad last night – nothing catastrophic just a gentle reminder that the world and the way we know it wont exist this way forever. I really questioned – in the dark while everyone slept last night – what the purpose of all the busy-ness was. I just want to write, nothing more. And hug my babies and remind my husband how lovely he is for looking after a single mum and her girl all those years ago. Thanks for this and the message it speaks x
Sarah – That space in between recently posted..Keeping afloat
Hi Sarah! I know that feeling of being cranky at myself for being the rescuer. It suddenly clicking that I can’t wait to be rescued by someone else, I need to perform the greatest feat of self-love and rescue myself.
I’m really sorry to hear of your bad news. My heart goes out to you. Yes, I know that feeling of ‘what is the purpose of this’ – sadly it is painful reminders of mortality seem to bring this to some clarity. Lots of love. x
I haven’t been able to write much in the last week and have been shocked as to how stressed its made me. Have to constantly remind myself that it doesn’t really matter and that it will all still be there when things calm down.
Someone once told me to “keep what’s important important”
Lots of love to you xx
That’s a great saying, Catherine. Pleased be assured that we all will still be here. Truly.
Hoping for some calm moments to come by your way soon (I’m wishing them for myself too!). xx
My wise friend Purple Cath recently said to me about the collapse after kids go back to school/care- February is much bigger than we give it credit for. I’m so glad you’ve taken the time to get yourself looked into and looked after. I’ve done similar, seen the doctor, the naturopath, the Bowen therapist and the acupuncturist. I’ve had blood taken and I’m finally seeing to all the deficiencies so that I may gather the strength do feel stronger and do more and feel better about everything and myself. Meantime is the in between to deal with. We’ll get there, Deb! The main thing is we stopped putting it off. And I’m so VERY glad, you are clear of danger xxxx
Twitchy recently posted..New Dog, New Blog- Colour Me Happy!
Hi Twitchy, I’m so glad you’re getting the help you need too! I read your blog the other day and knew we must have been on similar paths in the ‘recovery’ sense. Here’s to feeling better! Let those vitamins and supplements and therapies take effect asap! xx
I returned to work after 8years. So I now I have “two” jobs, one I get paid for, and one I get paid for in hugs.
it’s been a pretty full on five weeks. It’s a permanent part time position, but I haven’t actually done any part time hours yet, as I have been covering for holidays, and mummas ith sick kids. Sunday marked the beginning of what my “normal” week will look like, and I promptly woke up feeling like I was swallowing glass. Still are feeling rather ordinary, and all the things that I had planned to get done this week have gone by the way side, because my body is very loudly saying to me REST!
I’m glad you listened to yours and are making the adjustments you need to. Best of all I’m estatic that your not laying awake anymore worrying.
Sending you lots of love light and strength lovely xxx
Vicky recently posted..23. Art workshop with a new medium
Oh Vicky, I hope you are taking care of yourself and listening to your body. So important! You are very precious and worthy of care. I hope you find some rest soon. xx
Hi Deb, I just went three months without writing!! And the world didn’t stop revolving!!
Anyway, I’d love to read about your health/wellness findings and what works for you. I know you don’t normally write about it, but I, for one, would find it interesting.
Jill
Jill recently posted..Home sweet home?
Hello Jill! I thought you’d been quiet! And I have been so caught up in my world I haven’t read blogs at all. I miss yours so much. Need a good dose of it. I will think about writing a follow up ‘findings’ post. To be honest, I thought no-one would be interested!
This resonated with me, I went to a homeopath recently, frustrated with traditional medicines inability to find a cure for my persistent cough, low mood and insomnia.
Turns out I just wasn’t listening to my body, it had been putting its hand up like the good kid in class, politely waiting for me to notice, to stop doing all the things.
Stopping, taking stock and listening, I am back on the road to full health, and determined to mind my manners and listen to that polite kid when it next puts its hand up
Glad you are taking the time out you need, your quite right the world will still be waiting when your ready.
Sharron recently posted..I know what I know…..what my Nephew taught me
Sharron, thank you for sharing this with me. I like your analogy. It’s so important to listen to our bodies. I’m starting to find more and more that traditional medicine doesn’t work for everyone – in fact so many people are falling through the cracks. I’m glad you’re getting the help you need too. x
It’s not entirely a bad thing, that realisation that the world and the internet will go on without your input. It kind of takes some pressure off, in an odd way.
I’m so glad you’ve done what you needed to do and that it is turning around for you now Deb. Much love xox.
kate says stuff recently posted..Coming of age.
Thanks Kate. Yes, it does take the pressure off. Much love right back to you. xx
I’ve been away from SM and even my beloved photography a lot too, Deb. It has made me a bit anxious but then I push through and try to let go a little more each time. I can’t keep up with the blogging current. It reminds me of “Finding Nemo”. Instead of jumping into the East Australian Current to hitch a fast ride, I’m on the outside bobbing along at my own pace. I hope you’re finding all you need health wise and feeling better. I know I need some TLC too and should start with more sleep! xo
Veronica, I admire you so much for bobbing along at your own pace. If only everyone would. I heard that ‘slow blogging’ is quite the movement now… so apparently we’re trendsetters now! Fabulous, isn’t it?! And yes V, I hope you get some TLC. Keep being true to you and your needs. Blogging will wait. xx