The boy is nearly two.
He does normal nearly two things.
He plays with dinosaurs, builds with blocks, and runs outside.
And he cuddles teddies, pushes dolls in a stroller, and dances in a tutu.
One morning last week he chose what he wanted to wear for the day, straight from the washing pile. And this is what he chose.
He is free to choose his sister’s skirt. He can wear whatever he wants to wear. I am not lord over him.
He is a human being.
With big beautiful non-gender specific ideas. All his own.
I was surprised at his choice. But really I shouldn’t be. His innocence is age appropriate. And delightful. I’m enjoying it while I can.
As much as I want him to understand the world and fit in with it, I also want him to feel free to not conform. I want him to feel so secure in himself that he is liberated from expectations. I hope this freedom stays with him always.
When I posted that first skirt photo (above) on my Facebook page, a friend asked if my husband would be wearing a skirt with him too. She shared a link to a touching story about a father who wears skirts to support his 5 year old son’s choice to do the same.
The father, Nils Pickert, says this:
“Of course, the work of teaching our son how to interact with people — and how to get along with society and understand its rules and patterns — is mainly up to his mother and me. But he is my son, not my property. I don’t own him. If there is such a thing as owning a human being, he owns me. I made him, I dreamed of him, I longed for him; now he is in my life, and I am responsible for him as long as there is breath in me. So I teach him the rules and what to do with them. Not every rule makes sense. Some rules tell us to behave with violence and cruelty to other human beings, even if we have a distinct feeling that our actions toward them are wrong. It is not OK for anybody to mess with my son about his outfit. Hence I wear dresses and skirts so that any person who has a problem with that and feels the necessity to express his or her resentments can mess with me.”
This reminded me of my boy’s father, the remarkable and gentle man I married. He doesn’t care what people think of him. His heart is invested in his children. His devotion for them is pure. Yes, he would wear a skirt for his boy. Any day.
So I asked him this morning, would he like to wear a skirt with his boy who had chosen to be a fairy today? The boy didn’t need him to. But maybe he would enjoy the solidarity?
And so they danced together.
And picked flowers.
And rumbled.
Just two blokes hanging out on the front lawn.
My boys.
Unfettered. Playful. Tender.
And strong. Damn strong.
The Best Of
The Fun
The Mix
The Parenting Gig
The Pondering
The Random
The Serious
{ 38 comments… read them below or add one }
Beautiful Deb x
Thank you, Caroline! xx
Oh Deb this is the most delightful story ever!! I had more than a few tears in my eyes when I read it! Such gorgeous pictures, such wonderful boys!
Look forward to catching up next sunday xxx
Java Jane recently posted..Darkness & Light
I think they are wonderful too (and I’m totally biased!). And yes, so looking forward to catching up! Perhaps this time we’ll get to have a properly long chat!
xxx
Love this, Deb. What beautiful men you have in your life. Blessed! xxx
Grace recently posted..FYBF Featured Flogger – Kevin from The Illiterate Infant
Grace! Indeed I am blessed. As are you – you have three birds, yes? xx
It made my heart both smile and cry reading this. It makes me so happy that your children have such a wonderful dad. Xxx
Vicky recently posted..any fool can make a baby…
Thank you so much, Vicky. I am very grateful for my husband. He’s an amazing father to our children. xx
Beautiful. I love so much how times are changing.
Sharon @ Funken Wagnel recently posted..How I Met My Man
I truly hope they are, Sharon. Perhaps a generation ago this post would have seemed WAY out there. We’ve come a long way.
I just love your husband right now – too cool!
Carli recently posted..Taking control of the wheel
Yep, I do sing his praises often, but he totally deserves it.
Beautiful deb! and I shared the same link as your friend and will follow it up with your post as well – love it!
Deb @ Home life simplified recently posted..All suffering and difficulty is valid
Thanks so much, Deb! I appreciate you sharing the link to this post. LOVE that. xxx
I have tears Deb, this is so beautiful. Gorgeous boys. xx
Happylan recently posted..A few questions from The Simple Mummy
Thanks, Alana. xx
What sweet, strong and complex boys you have. xx
Lee recently posted..Peace out, clear out.
Yes, I’m very grateful, Lee. xx
Absolutely wonderful. I bought two lava lavas last visit to Hawaii (basically skirts). I’m so happy you are friends with Susan.
Thanks so much for your comment, David. I love lava lavas! – so glad you own some. My husband has worn an Indonesian sarong around the house for years. I’m sure you’d get along.
And yes, I’m honoured to be Susan’s friend. x
this made me smile.
When my daughter was little she didn’t care for girlish things. She dressed in boys clothes and everything was a sword. And it made her happy.
Happy is good.
kelley @ magnetoboldtoo recently posted..Awake.
Happy is definitely good. I have a girl like that too Kelley. At the moment she refuses to wear anything ‘pretty’, she must look ‘scary’ all the time. She is happy.
Oh my word, Deb, your boys are all kinds of wonderful. Well done Dad! xx
Jayne recently posted..Poppin’ the protest cherry
Hi Jayne! Thank you! xx
What a wonderful story! Thanks for sharing. It was great to see your husband all skirted-up and having so much fun with your son.
My son (who’s now 9), used to wear pigtails and clips in his hair when he was a toddler — his older sister loved dressing him up and he adored her. They both played with cars and blocks, had tea-parties and wrestled. Kids are kids, the only “gender” they understand is that which is placed upon them.
Cheers,
AJ
This is true, AJ. I think little brothers of older sisters will always get a good introduction to ‘girly’ things. So great for them to experience the range of play.
Thanks for stopping by, AJ.
My younger brother used to wear skirts a lot too. And some days he wanted to be called Michelle instead of Michael. And he used to talk about ‘when I grow up to be a woman’.
He had two big sisters, and we had lots of friends over, and I think he just wanted to be like us. And the wonder of being a preschooler is that you just do whatever takes your fancy without any preconceived ideas about life!
He is about to have his first child with his lovely wife, she assures me that he is an amazing husband and still very in touch with his gentle side. I can imagine him putting on a skirt to dance with his son!
That’s a lovely story, Vic – thanks for sharing. It’s all about not having pre-conceived ideas, isn’t it? And having 2 older sisters sounds like a reasonable reason to join in the ‘girl’ fun.
Real men definitely wear skirts. This post warms my heart.
I have read that boys who explore women’s clothes are able to relate to women better when they are older. Little girls are free to play with traditional boy clothes/toys/props. Little boys should not miss out!
Not sure how I missed your comment here, Gill – but thank you! And yes, I totally agree. x
Gorgeous post… I have two boys (2 and 11 months) and every week at play group I look at the dress ups and wish my son would try on a tutu!!! But he’s more interested in trucks at the moment, meanwhile each week a 3 year old boy puts on a fairy outfit and I think how beautiful he is…. Your son is adorable, and your husband a gem x
Thank you! I’m sorry that I’ve only just discovered your comment just now. What a lovely comment it was – yes, our sons are beautiful no matter what they wear or play with!
I’m reminded about George Orwell’s “1984″ whenever I read about people getting ridiculed just for SAYING they support mens’ right to wear skirts (bigots think that “ignorance is strength,” so they keep the statist quo). It’s as if skirted men/boys and their friends are thought criminals! Should not our right of freedom of speech be protected in BOTH the political offices AND in public/private spheres?
My parents watch FOX News, and I am appalled when I hear some of the commentators say things like, “traditional roles are there for a reason.” These FOX hosts are very uncaring for the individual, some of whom are actually suffering because they cannot be who they want to be. CONFORMITY/BIG BROTHER is the enemy, NOT freedom!
I have no doubt that the commentators that said, “traditional roles are there for a reason,” were more than likely to be female, as females dominate many of the network newrooms behind and in front of the camera.
If they were female….shame on them! All they need to do is go back 50 years and take a look at what the traditional roles were for women and how women dressed. You didn’t see a single woman in front of a news camera. Women wore skirts and dresses. Today, I have to look hard and long to find a female wearing something other than pants or some form thereof.
I’m all for letting boys and grown men wear any kind or skirt or dress they desire. As long as a person dresses modestly, I don’t care what they wear
Very special guys xox I can’t believe your little guy is 2.
Trish recently posted..Stronger
Thank you Trish. I only just found your comment here! xx
Very good story, I am a kilt wearing dad and my three boys also wear a kilt but just recently, I have been ‘skirting’ for almost ten years, y’all got all my love and support to y’all, keep strong, and tell your “ol’ man” he’s a great dad and his boys hang low.
Thank you for your comment Kilteddad!
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