“You’re not fresh.”
Is that why no one read my blog today?
“You’re 10 minutes ago. So yesterday.”
But I only posted something yesterday.
“It’s already old news. You’re only as good as your last post.”
But I thought it was a pretty decent post. I avoided clichés. I wrote from my heart. Can you give me any ideas why only 4 people read it?
“There’s a new kid in town. She’s hot. Right NOW. She’s trending on Twitter as we speak.”
But some I got some recognition a few weeks ago. I was hot then!
“But the new kid is sassy and edgy. She’s badass. And a wit to die for.”
Gee that seems a lot to compete with. I thought it wasn’t a competition. Aren’t there are enough slices in the pie for everyone? I just want to write and be heard by more than 4 people.
“But it’s lightning speed in here. If you haven’t been retweeted within minutes, you need to move on. If you want to be read, you have to move fast.”
How do I do that?
“Have you aggressively marketed yourself? What’s your Klout score? Do you have reach?”
That sounds complicated. I don’t want to get carried away.
“But are you appealing to a wide audience? Do you have a niche?”
I’m not sure what my niche is. Am I required to have one?
“Well if you don’t have one, at least consider jumping on a bandwagon. There’s one leaving round about now. Hold on a second! – you’ve just missed it.”
Damn!
“Hmm. ..Do you have a fan base? Have you built a celebrity following?”
Celebrity? I’m not interested in being a celebrity. I’m a writer. I write things.
“Then you need to write about something with universal appeal. Something that is marketable. Something that will go viral. Something epic. Controversy works a treat. Or sad stuff. Or having a baby… Have you considered having a baby or having a tragedy?”
I’ve had both of those. Not planning to have them again.
“Ah, well there’s your trouble. It’s in the past. We’re interested in right now. We want fresh!”
You mean all those posts that took a lifetime to ruminate and pen down have a 10 minute window of glory?
“Yes. The stampede has moved on.”
I feel cheap. I feel exposed. I’ve pimped out the sacred details of my life, haven’t I?
“Congratulations, you’re a true artist.”
Thanks…. I think. So what do you advise I do?
“Well, you know the post that you’re writing right now about this conversation?”
Yeah I know the one.
“Make sure that it has a killer punchline. The readers love that shit.”
Damn. I’m fresh out of punchlines.
“Hurry! They’re about to click out of this page.”
I’m feeling so inadequate now. It seems easier to curl up in a ball and never write a post again and passive-aggressively seek attention that way.
“Your time is up!”
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{ 31 comments… read them below or add one }
Deb. You are true and real. That counts for a LOT xxxx
Yeah.. I was just having some fun. Humour isn’t my forte – just having a crack.
And thank you. x
Wow Deb – this is EXACTLY how I feel! I’m so glad I’m not the only one. Some days I’m really excited about my writing on the blog and some days I get so massively overwhelmed by all this stuff that I am paralysed with apathy. I don’t even know what Klout is! Maybe we should start a support group. We can call it “Serious About Writing – Not So Serious About All The Crap That Goes With Blogging”. What do you think???
Leah @ language | lynx recently posted..Thankful Thursday
LOL Yes, Leah – brilliant! I don’t really know what Klout is either.. but know enough that I don’t need it. That’s okay, some people like that. I just needed to remind myself to lighten up today.
the blogosphere sounds like a ruthless world to be in
authenticity is the only way to go, so what if only 4 people read your latest post? that’s 4 people you’ve touched in one day, 4 people is a lot in my book, they might be the 4 people who needed it, just write from the heart and let God take care of the rest xx
Thanks beautiful poetic sister Mary. Don’t worry about me, this was truly an attempt to lighten up and see the funny side.
xxx
Brilliant , then we stay up all night watching to see how many hits we got later.
Trish recently posted..Damn Straight – double mastectomy
LOL – me and you Trish. It’s all about the hits! (*tongue firmly in cheek).
Love this post.You made me smile.
Numbers are nothing as the most important thing is that you get your joy out of writing your words in your amazing place created by you.
I dont care about how many numbers a blogger has when I come to visit.I am just grateful to be invited in to share their space and be given an opportunity to comment.
Even if your post gets read by one person and gives one person a smile or helps them in some way…You make a difference.How great is that.
Thankyou for sharing.xx
Thank you so much Deby. That’s a lovely thing to say. I hope you find that satisfaction when you write too.
A little bit cheeky, a little bit clever, always insightful and always Deb. I look forward to the bright and precious posts in my inbox. Plus the reply comments-you connect with your readers deb, this is what keeps me tied to the blogging world, it’s the insights from my favorite bloggers (you and a handful of others).
I look forward to the day you put out a book, Deb..
Gill, you’re beautiful. And yes, I’m working on that book. Think I might take a blogging break to complete it. Need to talk to you about your book plans too. x
I love this Deb. Been a bit absent online in general, so I’m feeling very ‘not fresh’ at the moment. This well-writtten and humorous little conversation has once again reminded me to stop taking myself so seriously. Love xx
Alana, I’ve noticed you’ve been quiet. Hope you’re ok? Oh Alana, we can’t help but be serious sometimes – that’s what writers do best! – but yes, I wrote this for me, to remind myself to have a laugh.
xx
Wow, for someone who doesn’t think humour’s their forte you’re pretty fantabulous!! I’m going to keep saying it because you awe me every single time and it’s so darn humbling – you’re so bloody smart and this is so funny! xx
Kate Sins recently posted..day 32 | 100 Pantone postcards project
LOL yay, someone thought it was funny! And someone as smart and lovely as you, Kate! My work is done.
x
You’re not, you know – only as good as your last blog post. Some of us have only just discovered you, and what a rare and beautiful find it has been (Found you through Edenland).
I’ve been trying to get my yoga business going for a while and often practising what I like to call ‘air yoga’ – you know, like air-guitar – the yoga you practice without any students; and I’ve come to understand that ‘when the teacher is ready, the students will appear’.
Your writing is tender and authentic and, more than any other blogs I read, is helping me to build up the courage to start blogging too … (If only I had a half-a-bloody clue how to start!)
Please keep on keeping on xx
So lovely to read your comment, Chrissie. I LOVE your yoga analogy. So much to learn from that. I actually didn’t write this for the need to be affirmed – I truly was having a tongue-in-cheek moment as I reflected on the blogging ‘machine’. I hope you do start a blog – I know it would be gorgeous. Let me know – I’ll read it.
I really thought this was so funny.
I never feel this way though. My drive is something different. I am not apart of the FB and twitter, so there is no pressure there. I actually read your post yesterday, thought it was fab too. I only read stuff that I enjoy. If I feel a blogs post is only done to attract readers, it irks me. I don’t know why. Cause I realize it’s about engagement, but I like raw and unpolished.
I really like your blog, for the way you express yourself. It’s always fresh here. X
Rex, you are a treasure. I love your drive. And it’s something that I try to live by also – dancing to my own tune – but sometimes it’s easy to get sucked into the vortex. I was having fun at my own expense here, and sending up the whole scene too – and I hope it came across that it’s not actually how I feel (that need to compete) – and more of a reminder that I’m okay with it. I know where my true value lies. Thanks for your gorgeous words. x
Absoulutely Deb. XO I loved it.
That was so funny to read – you definitely go the humour thing happening in this post ! And while it might be tongue in cheek, I think there are so people who are like that. I noticed the other day that I had had 7,000 page views – how I have no idea because I wouldn’t have thought that there would be that many people who would read my day to day escapes ! I blog mainly because I love to type and I have to find something to type about !!!
Have the best day and a great week.
Love, hugs and positive energy !
Me
Me recently posted..Things I Know
Thanks! I’m so glad you found the humour in it.
Spot on!! Too funny.
Hi Jill! I can’t wait to read your last few posts… just running a bit behind. Hope you are well.x xx
pure brilliance Deb! SO so true, have thought things like this more than once myself. It always feels like it is the great posts that dont get read
Rhianna recently posted..Monday at the Movies – Charlie & Boots
Thanks Rhianna. There are a few of my favourite posts that hardly anyone has read – it’s funny like that, isn’t it?!
Deb you crack me up!!! Isn’t it funny – we all have those thoughts running around our heads sometimes, all of us! I’m pretty sure even the big stars of blogging feel overwhelmed and inadequate at times!! And also, this readers loves your shit xx
Daisy recently posted..One day you’ll look back and laugh at this…
So glad you got the humour in this. I was beginning to think that people really thought I took this one seriously. I’m laughing at myself and my ridiculous thoughts and at the ridiculous scene that it can be at times. There’s some great things about it too.
Thanks for loving my shit, Daisy! lol xxx
A bit tongue in cheek maybe, yet there is so much truth in this. My mind boggles at how fast a post becomes “yesterday’s news”. I often look at my Facebook feed and RSS reader and marvel at how prolific bloggers are. With so many of us lamenting we struggle to find enough time to read, it would just seem sensible we all post less, savour more and slow it down to a comfortable pace. But no. Blogging and all the related peripheral activities feels like running on a treadmill at 50km/h and that’s not humanly possible. We either get on, stay on, keep up or get on, hang on and stress about keeping up. Earlier this year, I chose to get off that treadmill. Glad most of my little core blogging community didn’t forget me on the sidelines!
Veronica @ Mixed Gems recently posted..Wordless Wednesday – June Snapshot
I hear you completely, Veronica. I hate the treadmill culture too. I am one of the slower bloggers and still I feel ‘rushed’. I keep reminding myself to get off the treadmill too – and taken inspiration from you. Sometimes I find myself getting on again and that’s when I need to take a step back and remember how ridiculous it is. (Like this post). Good on you for slowing down. Huge respect for you. I hope the slowing down culture catches on!