I’m Sorry

Hothouse Flowers

Edenland's Fresh Horses post this week is a series of sentences starting with "Sorry". If you go over to Eden's post (and if you haven't, you should, it's compelling), you'll see it's nothing about apologies at all. It's about power. As women, as humans, we're stuck in an insidious spiral of apology. There's nothing wrong with being humble Continue Reading

She’s a Firecracker

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She’s a firecracker! About a year ago my friend called my 3 and a half year old a firecracker and it has stuck with me ever since. Because it is perfect. She is sparky and bright. True to the meaning of her actual name. Like a pinwheel she’ll dance and spin. Like a rocket she’ll propel toys across the room. Like a flare gun she’ll burst in Continue Reading

Crumbs From The Table

Love

The problem with facing your own mortality is surviving. Surviving means you realise how much you didn't mean to the people around you. Leukaemia didn't just shed my hair or my weight. In the months and years after getting out of hospital, I shed many friends. It sorted out who cared for me and who indifferently didn’t mind if I was dead or Continue Reading

A Magnificent Beast

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The Blogger is a magnificent beast. They don't have any distinctive markings. They don't have any unique mannerisms. I doubt you could spot them in a crowd. But if you get talking to them, they'll mention the B word. It's their passion. It's their thing. Some use it as therapy. Some use it to connect. Some turn it into a business. Some turn it Continue Reading

Love Lanterns

Love

Do you know that scene in The English Patient when Kip sets up a trail of candles for Hana? And she follows them down the stairs, into the garden and down the path? It stays in my mind as one of the most romantic and magical scenes of all time. (And if you haven't seen it, here's a  link to it) . I love little candles. Little lanterns. Fairy Continue Reading

A Good Man

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My Dad. Unique doesn't even begin to explain him. Let me try again: Honourable. Humble. Generous. Gracious. Confident. Eccentric. Hilarious. Clever. Other words that describe my dad: Without vanity. Without ego. Full of integrity. A good man. I'm thinking about him because today is his 70th Birthday. :::::: When Dad was 29 he took Continue Reading

An Inconvenient Grief

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I've been working on this post all week. Grief is proving so tricky to articulate. I've been so exhausted by it that I thought there was no way I could rise up to join with Edenland's Fresh Horses link up this weekend as well. Eden must be beautifully psychic or something because her topic this week is Funeral Songs. Ah perfect! I hope my post Continue Reading

A Beautiful World

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I buried my Luka today. Most nights recently I've complained that my lap is full. Full of babies. Full of burden. No room for Luka. How things change so quickly in 4 days. My lap is empty tonight. :::::: Those lilies. I wasn't thinking. I asked for lilies for my birthday. Those lilies. They poisoned his poor little Continue Reading

Fresh Handwriting

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I'm linking up with Edenland for her new meme: 'Fresh Horses Brigade'. It's all about handwriting this week. Let's go! :::::: When I was 10 my teacher told me that I had the worst handwriting in the class. Words that only strengthened my steely determination to prove her wrong. By the end of the year, my writing was beautifully legible. She gave Continue Reading